A friend gifted me the Four Agreements many years ago and it is a book I love. I often pick it up to read a chapter to remind myself of the valuable lessons it holds. What Don Miguel Ruiz writes is similar to what other great teachers share. If you read the words of the Tao Te Ching there is a similarity and when I discovered the 5 Reiki principles it all tied in as well. Buddhism, Islam and Christianity ask their followers to explore comparable guiding rules and apply them to Life.
‘In living, choose your ground well. In thought, stay deep in the heart. In relationships, be generous. In speaking, hold to the truth. In leadership, be organised. In work, do your best. In action, be timely. If you compete with no one, no one can compete with you.’ - Tao Te Ching
The different paths of guidance provide a compass for navigating the complexities of life, enabling us to find balance, deal with and embrace change, and discover the essence of who we really are. These principles, rules and guides are not pointers, I see them more as invitations and a part of the journey of introspection and soul-searching. You can mix and match and use what feels good for you and your journey.
In spiritual teachings the word non-attachment is mentioned often. This is something I have been working on for some time now and I find it challenging. Maybe because it is the opposite of what we are being taught in our societies. Practising non-attachment means letting go of outcomes, results, desires, and expectations and accepting what is. This applies to you and your personal life as well as your wider influence on beings and situations around you.
By letting go you are freeing yourself from holding on to negative and positive experiences which provide a sense of freedom and strength that you possibly didn’t know you had. It allows for a life of happiness and independence because you are not attached to thoughts, things, animals and people.
Attachment is our longing to control the outcome of everything we do. The more we interfere and try to manage the results, the more time and effort we waste on moulding and shaping our experience of life and the more frustrated we get. Life happens for us and not to us.
‘Consider the trees which allow the birds to perch and fly away without either inviting them to stay or desiring them never to depart. If your heart can be like this, you will be near to the Way.’ – Zen saying
How many of us are guilty of a self-centred attachment to our horses? Where we (unconsciously) do things not for the horse but for ourselves. For me, this became very obvious when the time came to retire Karachi. She had not been sound for a while and she did not enjoy any kind of training. She never really liked people but tolerated us and there was always the initial reluctance about grooming or a hoof trim. She loved going out on hacks so when I couldn’t ride her anymore, I would pony her along.
I felt a reluctance inside me because retiring her would be such a significant step for all of us. Karachi is part of the family and I often see her as the matriarch. She is a horse with a lot of wisdom, who taught me so many lessons. From when she first appeared in my life, she has been the one who pushed me to step into the unknown and explore different ways of training and being with horses. She has been my catalyst to becoming an unconventional horse guardian and she means so much to me.
I connected with her through Reiki, on an energetic level, and checked in with her. I didn’t have any expectations, I was just there to listen and soon I could feel her desire to let go of responsibility. She told me her shoulders were heavy from being in charge and taking care and she asked for a safe place for her to be at ease. I could see her in a herd of horses, in nature, without much interference from humans.
My emotions were at play, I would miss her so much and at the same time, I felt I had to set her free to honour her spirit and longing for a true horse life. I had to let go of my feelings, emotions and thoughts and think purely about the possibilities for her, a place where she could have wonderful years in retirement, surrounded by other horses and the safety and calm that would bring her.
'If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself, if you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your self-transformation.’ - Lao Tsu
When I connected with her, I could see the image of a bowed head and shoulders carrying a heavy load. I knew that she was talking to me. Her tiredness and her sense of having a lot of responsibility was something that I felt too and she invited me to look at what I was attached to and what I needed to let go of. She was completely spot-on and in sync.
I had to trust Life and recognise it has its own way of unfolding, often in contrast to our demands on how it should be. I had to walk a new way with her and have confidence it was leading us in the direction we had to go in. I found a wonderful retirement home and took her there last weekend. I wept in the car while going there, not for her but for me. Knowing we are on the right path: freedom, joy, peace, connection and safety await her and she has my love and support as she finds her way.